A Funny Thing Happens...

A funny things happens when you're about to cross the Atlantic. When we get ready to return to the States, we have all kinds of fears. Remember this? And now that we're about to cross the ocean the other way, we find ourselves having completely opposing thoughts about everything. Here are the multiple personalities that develop after one short summer.

On Car Seats

Thought in Congo: Do I really have to put my kids in car seats in the States? They will hate it and scream the entire car ride.

Thought in the US: Do we really go everywhere without car seats in Congo? Eeek! How irresponsible! How do we manage the kids bouncing all over the car.


On Stuff

Get lots and lots of stuff!

  by  Steve Snodgrass 

In Congo: Maybe this year we don't need to buy as much stuff to bring back with us to Congo. We do have a real grocery store now. Paying $5 for a toothbrush isn't that bad. And hey, I kinda like these Turkish diapers.

In the US: 50 cent toothbrushes?! Get 20! And 15 tubes of toothpaste. And enough deodorant for 5 years! And I've never used hair gel, but let's get 5 tubes just in case. How much space is left in the suitcase? Can we pack a few more rolls of toilet paper in there? And I'm not using those damn Turkish diapers!

On Illness

  by  I woz ere 

In Congo: Boy it's going to be nice to be in the States where we don't have to worry about the kids getting sick.

In the US: I can't wait to get back to Congo after the kids have recovered from all their vaccinations. They've both been miserable for weeks. Charlotte is covered in measles or mumps or something, and Ani has developed an allergy to anything that touches her skin. She's constantly covered in hives.

On Safety

In Congo: Things are so safe in the States. Won't it be nice to not have to worry about political instability.

In the US: We're gathered in a public area and no one has gone though any kind of metal detector or security screening. Is this safe? Also, I have a mild heart attack every time I ride in a car. Everyone drives so fast when there are no potholes to dodge.

And finally I know it's time to go back when my thoughts have changed on the cleanliness of public restrooms. Fresh off the plane from Congo I can visit the filthiest bathroom in the States and be impressed there's running water. Now I find myself judging an establishment if the trashcan is too full and the water doesn't get hot fast enough. Don't even get me started on no changing tables. I guess it's time to get reacquainted with changing diapers mid-air.

So, so clean.

  by  loop_oh 

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On Becoming Those People

A few years ago an American friend told me a story about a couple they knew who lived in their same village in Africa. When they were all Stateside, they got together so they could introduce them to their friends at home. She said they acted totally different and became incredibly socially awkward. "It was like they had totally forgotten how to interact in American society!" This is the anecdote I replay in my mind every time I'm in any sort of social setting. Do not become those people. Do not become those people.

Here are some signs we're becoming those people:

I had never in my life driven either of my children until this past week. I can easily go an entire year without operating a motor vehicle of any kind. Thankfully my sister was in the car because, I-honest-to-goodness, had to ask which was the accelerator and which was the brake. She was kind enough to explain the "one on the right makes the car go." And then we drove from one side of the parking lot to the other. And that was the extent of my career chauffeuring my children. Lucky for them.

Driving again kind of feels like this.

  by  wbaiv 

We went to Target within the first 24 hours of being home (obviously) and the Starbucks there had free samples of some sort of whipped cream topped-caramel-drizzled-macchiato-pumpkin spice-chai tea substance. Adam got absolutely giddy and confirmed several times with the poor teenager working the cash register that they were in fact free. He then found a bar of designer chocolate for only $2 and brought me to see it. We both agreed Target should really consider charging more for their products.

It's free. Just take it!

  by  visualpanic 

I am about to become one of the oldest people in history to have their wisdom teeth taken out. As the receptionist at my dentist explained to the oral surgeon why I had waited so long, "Well, she lives in Africa." And then whispered, "and keeps getting pregnant." Honestly, compared to the medical events of last summer (read: giving birth) I'm looking forward to the drug-induced nap in the dentist chair.

I am completely shocked how long it takes to fold a laundry basket of baby clothes. It doesn't look like a lot, but you can get at least 50 onesies and hundreds of pairs of baby socks in one load of laundry. Dear god, how do the Mamas do this everyday and then iron it all? Note to self: give Mamas a raise for tedious, never-ending baby laundry tasks.

And lastly, Adam and I actually have discussed, at great length, on several occasions how culturally inappropriate it would be to bring either of the Mamas home to help us. Exactly how much would we be judged? How difficult is it to get an American visa for a Congolese woman? We're proud of ourselves for compromising on only feeling the need to bring one nanny.

So in this, our summer in the States after our sixth year abroad, we're trying to blend in as much as possible. But I still think it's thrilling that at any time of day you can walk into Costco and feed your entire family with samples for zero dollars. Yep, did that two days in a row last week. God Bless America.

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