10 Mama Fears Before Departure (real and imagined)

This morning I had my first cup of coffee on our porch (out of a daily average of 50) while Ani happily swung in her swing beside me. After she fell back asleep, I snuck inside to pour another cup when I heard Mamicho arrive.

As soon as she found Ani alone(!) on the porch I heard her say, "Anifa!" (No idea why she calls her this.) "Why are you out here alone?! Who left you here? Are you sick? Did they make you sleep here all night? Is this what they're going to do with you in the United States?!"

And then I was reminded of all the fears Mamicho and Mama Youyou have shared with us over the years before our Stateside departure. Here they are in no particular order:

1: Charlotte will return to Congo and immediately be terrified of everyone because there are only white people and no gens noirs aux États-unis.

Nope, no Congolese here.

  by  shoothead 

2: The girls will get bitten by mosquitoes on their faces right before we leave and everyone will think they're neglectful Mamas. (In reality, chances are this would happen on our watch, not theirs.)

3: I will forget to sort through my clothes and give them what I don't want anymore.

4: I will forget to sort through my shoes and give them what I don't want anymore.

5: Charlotte will be miserable because we live in an apartment building in the States and she won't have easy access to her favorite place, the outdoors. (Mamicho has since learned that we don't live in New York City, as most assume all Americans do. And has seen many pictures of our homes in the country. She feels a little better about Charlotte's access to grass this year.)

Yeah, pretty opposite of the Shenandoah Valley.

  by  Bert Kaufmann 

6: In Ani's attempts to start walking she will fall and bang her head and end up with a nasty bruise right before her return. (Most days her forehead is black and blue from this awful stage of learning to walk.) Therefore, Mama Youyou has vowed to carry her everywhere right before we go so this doesn't happen.

7: I will rely too much on the Ergo to carry them around and no one will carry them au dos avec pagne, the girls' preferred method.

8: Charlotte will try to speak French (or worse, Lingala) with other children, and they will think she is crazy.

9: Charlotte will have only me to speak French with her and she will return to Congo with my American accent or she will have totally forgotten everything. --Okay, I made this one up, but they're probably thinking it.

10: They will miss their "real" Mamas so desperately that they will pine away for Congo and have a miserable time. --I made this one up too, but I'm sure they're thinking it. And we'll just let them continue believing it because at least once a day Mama Youyou or Mamicho reminds me that two months is a really long time. "Deux mois? C'est un temps trop long, Mama."

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wear your baby: DIY by Mama NouNou

Today - while Sarah and I are off with Dr. Laure the obstetrician (don't worry, we'll fill you in later!) - we leave you with Mama NouNou's guide to wearing your baby.

It's easy, cheap, convenient, and good for everyone involved.

All you need is a tablecloth, an old sheet, or a length of sturdy fabric.  Here, everyone uses about 2 meters of pagne (the gorgeous cloth that we blabber on about any chance we get):

                                       

So, grab your fabric and your baby and follow these THREE simple steps:

 Have a baby who isn't quite ready for the back carry yet?  Stay tuned for Mama NouNou's solution in a future post.

(Special thanks to dearest little Annaïs and Mama NouNou, of course.)

p.s.  Mama NouNou is the same person as Mama "NuNu" mentioned in previous posts...she simply corrected my misspelling...!

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public health policy - mama style.

The AAP recently made a subtle wording change in it's statement about breastfeeding.

The most important guidelines in the U.S. about child health now state:

“[breastfeeding is a]public health issue and not only a lifestyle choice.”

This refocused recommendation also states that babies should be exclusively breastfed for 6 months.  Encouraging American lawmakers and employers to protect and encourage the needs of breastfeeding women just got much easier.  

In Congo, however, everyone knows that breastfeeding is essential - and they are willing to make sure that new mothers know it.

I can think of many a friend who has experienced Congolese "public health policy" first hand - including our own Sarah.  Sarah has had two newborns while living in the Congo.  Both times, she experienced numerous public reminders to "Let the baby eat!  She needs to eat!"  One time, Annais was crying and she was surrounded by a small crowd in a grocery store encouraging her to nurse her baby...and waiting to make sure she actually did.  That's public health policy and follow-through at it's best.

Another expat friend and her husband went to the grocery store here in Kinshasa with their 3 week old baby.  Baby Clara snuggled in a front baby carrier on her father.  Clara began to cry.  Three or four Congolese women rushed over and admonished both parents for having the baby so far away from the breast.  "She must eat immediately!  She shouldn't cry!  The mother must carry her!"

A week later, this friend accompanied my family to the paint shop.  Baby Clara was again in the front carrier.  Being a floppy newborn, she looked...well...floppy, of course.  The women who owned the shop hit the roof.  "The baby can't nurse like that!  How will she nurse?" Baby Bjorns apparently do not get the golden seal of approval around here (disclaimer:  many an American mom has been introduced to the wonders of babywearing through this device! AND Sarah reminded me that I've seen several Congolese mamas rocking the Western front carrier...).  Too hard to feed the baby.

Mama NuNu confirms that in her experience, "if there is a baby crying on the bus, all the women on the bus shout, 'Feed the baby!  Give it the breast!'"  She explained it as, "everyone wants the mama to know that she should feel comfortable feeding her baby - no matter where she is."  See?  Public health policy at work.

No mother, women, father, man, or child I've met here would even waver for a moment about the importance of breastfeeding a baby.  It's not an issue.  It's a fact.

Sounds like the AAP is catching on...

Certainly, there are mothers who gratefully feed their babies other ways (remember Sarah's donation to Kenyan mamas?), but the basic assumption is that, especially in a place where most do not have access to clean water or regular meals, breastfeeding is the rule.  It's a matter of public health.

(Stay tuned for a "how to" on baby wearing with a pagne - the same stuff Katie's bridesmaid's dresses will be made of,  oh yes.  Brought to Mama Congo by Mama NuNu.)

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