Showing posts with label mommy wars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommy wars. Show all posts

1 June 2012

Friday List!

Sarah's List:

Interesting series on “rethinking Africa." I have to agree that most of the time it’s not the tropical disease, but rather more treatable illnesses that are causing problems. I think I’ve known of someone in Congo this year who’s died or struggled with each the non-communicable diseases mentioned below. And fewer dying from malaria and the other non-Western things we imagine.

“When most people in developed countries think of the biggest health challenges confronting the developing world, they envision a small boy in a rural, dusty village beset by an exotic parasite or bacterial blight. But increasingly, that image is wrong. Instead, it is the working-age woman living in an urban slum, suffering from diabetes, cervical cancer, or stroke – non-communicable diseases that once confronted wealthy nations alone.” 





Should politicians ever wear jeans? Yes, politicians should always wear jeans, so we can put their pics in photo essays like this one.



It turns out last week’s piece in the New York Times about commas caused quite a stir, so here are more comma Q and A’s. Who knew it would become such a controversy.

Good thoughts on the so-called “Mommy Wars.” I totally agree that, “in the United States, the lack of affordable, high quality day care, paid parental leave, flex time and so on — and the ideologies that support those policies and institutions,” is the problem. Not the mommies.

It’s that time of year again where we enter our seat numbers into seatguru.com and make sure we got the bulkhead. Yep, got it. All the way home. Thank goodness for travel agents. I love this website so we can fully envision what our flights will be like.

What’s the deal with French children’s books being so scary? One of Charlotte’s favorite books in French is from Congo and tells the story of two boys learning to play soccer. But that’s beside the point. One boy gets hit by a car, the other boy gets sick and throws up everywhere. Complete with graphic illustrations.





Jill's List:

Interesting piece on the mother of American midwifery, Ina May Gaskin.  I'm not sure how I feel about the author's conclusions about homebirth in the U.S, though.  



Thinking about my Seattle friends.  It's been a rough week.  Amazing the damage a gun can do.

A procession of mourners grows as neighbors join in along the route.

 Elias officially has about 2 pairs of pants that fit him.  We increased that number by taking scissors to his other, too-short, pairs and making shorts.  Mama Vida was horrified.  This little tutorial was helpful, although we went with just-above-the-knee at Elias' request.  (Yes.  I needed a tutorial to make cut-offs...)



Enough said:



 I remember reading this magazine when I was just thinking about wanting to have children.  The slow death of the quarterly print magazine continues?



 Oh! and a late addition:  My mother-in-law, the tailor, on the radio!



14 May 2012

Extended Breastfeeding. Or, as the Mamas call it: Breastfeeding.

Can we all just agree that the "Mommy Wars" are a gimmick created by corporate executives who want to get us all hot and bothered and sell things, especially magazines. Like this one:



Seriously, did they not search for the oldest looking 3 year-old (with the hottest mom) they could find?

How long you breastfeed should be in that same category of mundane personal choices like how long you keep your fingernails and how you take your coffee. Who cares? And why judge. Okay, I am a bit clueless about these things thanks to my removal from the Western world since before we were thinking babies.

But come on Mamas. It's time to pull it together and become secure in our choices, so that when some magazine executive thinks he can sell issues by asking, "Are You Mom Enough?" we see that's ridiculous and don't care. It's hard to wage a war with someone who doesn't care. Mommy wars over.

So I showed the cover to Mama Youyou. I can't lie. Her eyes doubled in size and her tongue hung out of her mouth. But then I asked how long Congo Mamas nurse and she said, "Well at least until Charlotte's age." Judgement intended. This speaks a bit to the sensationalism of the cover. Even if you think it's totally normal to nurse for several years, TIME still makes it look shocking.

Then she said, we keep 'em nursing for comfort, for convenience, for free birth control. (This is where I present Exhibit A: Our surprise 2nd baby conceived at the precise moment I stopped nursing Charlotte.)



Mamicho says she weaned her girls around 7 months-old so she could go to school. She admits this was WAY early. Ahh, now it makes sense why she thinks my breast pump is the second coming.

To find out more about Congo Mamas and their history of breastfeeding, I stumbled upon this fascinating article called "Le Bebe en Brousse" (or Babies in the Bush): European Women, African Birth Spacing and Colonial Intervention in Breast Feeding in the Belgian Congo. In sum, our Congo Mamas had a pretty good little system of extended breastfeeding, postpartum abstinence, and thoughtful family planning going until the wise ole Belgian missionaries showed up and introduced formula. And bribed them with gifts to deliver their babies in Belgian clinics. Oh and then fed their infants in mess halls and taught moms to sleep separate from their babies and wean early. Thank you, Belgians. You always knew what was best for Congo.



Thank goodness the Belgians left the Bonobos alone. They nurse their babies until they're 4 or 5 years-old and wean them when they're ready for more Bonobo babies.

I breastfed Charlotte for a little over 6 months. Then for a variety of reasons, stopped. I distinctly remember someone of the American variety saying, "Oh, stopped already? Couldn't hack it, huh?" So basically, stop too early and you're a wimp. Stop too late and you're weird.

The magical moment when you can wean without social commentary is nonexistent. So it's best to do whatever the hell you want. I'm currently still nursing Ani and hope she can let go by kindergarten. Her attachment was not by design, but Dr. Sears would be proud. Ani can nurse as long as she wants because I'm too lazy to think about weaning. And honestly, I appreciate the calorie burn. Go ahead and judge me, but my current motto is, I'd rather nurse all night than workout all day.


And based on that cover photo, I'm pretty sure that mom's rockin' bod is thanks to nearly 4 years of milk production. Fact is, we nurse and stop nursing for many reasons. Some selfless, some selfish. Certainly none worth warring over.
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